A recent medical scare caused me to reflect on transience, impermanence, and loss; it also caused me to think about simpler, more effective, and more immediate rubrics to deal with fear.
Back at the beginning of pandemic in March of 2020, I wrote a long post on living with fear, which seemed to be our new normal. While I still think what I wrote is practical and useful, I didn’t think it provided a simple but comprehensive tool, like a Swiss Army knife, that had everything you needed in a small package and could be used quickly and easily when the need arose. So I thought about refining those lessons and creating a simpler model for addressing fear in the moment.
If you are suddenly in a situation in which you are feeling fearful (as I was, courtesy of an unexpected retinal detachment), the following is a simple, useful guide for managing your fear — and it’s got an acronym you are not likely to forget. Just remember F.E.A.R. and you’ll have some simple tools you can use to defuse your fear response and transmute it into something more beneficial in the moment.
F = Focus. When faced with something fearful, our instincts are to fight it or to run away (“fight or flight”). If it’s not an immediate, life-or-death situation, however, the best option is often neither of these: instead, it’s to focus on the situation at hand, being fully present and mindful of what’s…
